Moment of Sun

Being in Africa has changed me. Of that, I am certain. There have been times when I've felt as though my heart would never recover from something I witnessed, and times when I realized that... well... maybe I didn't want it to.

The other day, my heart caught a glimpse of heaven. I was on my way to Entebbe in a taxi full of people...when immediately my eyes were drawn to a beautiful baby girl about 5 months old. I don't know what it is inside me that is so drawn to children, but I couldn't take my eyes off her. After fidgeting and dying a little inside to be able to hold her, I built up the courage to ask her mother, who then happily placed her in my arms. I learned that the sweet infant's name was Faith, and had recently contracted malaria. Because her mother could not afford the medical bills, she feared her daughter's life would be taken by it. So, she was on her way to introduce Faith to her father for what she believed would be her first...and last time.

My heart literally broke in two. I just stared into her beautiful brown eyes and, like so many other instances here in Africa, I found myself asking God, "Why"? "If God loves us, why does he allow us to suffer so much? War. Pestilence. Famine...Why doesn't he stop it? What possible point can there be to such a tragedy? Doesn't God love us?..."

The truth is that He does, and it is through our suffering that, we not only find God, we come to realize that our true good and happiness lies in another world - and that this life is for our preparation to earn it. "We're like blocks of stone, out of which the sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of his chisel, which hurt us so much, are what make us perfect. The suffering in the world is not the failure of God's love for us; it is that love in action." I believe we all understood that by coming to earth, we would be exposed to all of the experiences of earth life, including the trials of pain, suffering, and hopelessness. If that were all we knew of the plan I doubt any of us would have embraced it. But it all came into focus, and it became acceptable, even desirable, when an Elder brother stepped forward and offered that He would go down and make it all right. Out of pain & suffering He would bring peace. Out of hopelessness He would bring hope. Maybe alternatively to the neglect we feel from our Father in Heaven in our moments of despair, we are really being loved beyond our capacity to understand. We cannot avoid or deny the difficult paths of suffering, and hope to be perfected in Christ. He knows the paths we walk, for He has known the way with us.

My teary eyes were now focused on the angel in my arms. If in fact she was taken from this life - it is through the grace of God she would be reunited with her mother. A woman who no doubt will have weathered the storm and held fast with.... Faith: In its most simplistic childlike form. I handed the infant back, thanked her, and turned just as the sun hit my face.... knowing a little better the reasons for Christ's suffering, the suffering of His people, and my own.

I'll never forget her. She's a part of me now. A part of my eternal existence. I thanked Him silently for the wonder of His ways.... and continued down the muddy road in silence.

(Ideas from Shadowlands by William Nicholson)